Most Difficult Language To Learn

Translation is a tricky business, not many people have the opportunity of using professional translators. That's why some use their own methods of translation. Sometimes not very successfully. Below are some funny mistranslations, funny signs, throughout the world. We hope you enjoy reading them.

Funny Mistranslations

Below are more than 200 mistranslation, funny expressions or simply language humor. Enjoy!

At a car dealership: The best way to get back on your feet? Miss a car payment.
Athens Hotel: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 daily.
Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours--we guarantee no miscarriages.
Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
In a dentist's office: Be true to your teeth or they will be false to you.
In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
In a Pennsylvania cemetery: Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.
In a Tokyo hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel toweles please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read this notice.
In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.
Maternity Clothes Shop: We are open on Labor Day.
On a Music Teacher's door: Out Chopin.
On Coke cans: "I FEEL COKE & SOUND SPECIAL".
Outside a country shop in West Virginia: We buy junk and sell antiques.
Pizza shop slogan: 7 days without pizza makes one Weak.
Switzerland: in a Swiss mountain inn: Special today - no ice cream.
Greece: in a Rhodes tailor's shop: Order your summers suit. Because in big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand: WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
At an optometrist's office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
Church sign: To remove worry wrinkles, get your faith lifted.
Greek/ Greece: in a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.
In a Japanese cemetery: PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
In a toilet: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: "Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists".
In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.
London office: After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
On a local plumbing company's trucks in NE Pennsylvania: Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.
On an established New Mexico dry cleaning store: Thirty-eight years on the same spot.
Outside a second-hand store: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.
Sign at the psychic's Hotline: Don't call us, we'll call you.
Tokyo hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read this notice.
When General Motors introduced the Chevy Nova in South America, it was apparently unaware that "no va" means "it won't go". After the company figured out why it wasn't selling any cars, it renamed the car in its Spanish markets to the Caribe.
At a number of US military bases: Restricted to unauthorized personnel.
Bangkok dry cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.
Door of a plastic surgeon’s office: Hello. May we pick your nose?
In a Beauty Shop: Dye now!
In a farmer’s field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but be aware that the bull charges.
In a Los Angeles clothing store: Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.
In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
In a veterinarian’s waiting room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.
Inside a bowling alley: Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.
Moscow hotel room door: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
On a repair shop door: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard — bell out of order.)
On the door of a Computer Store: Out for a quick byte.
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
Quicksand warning: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.
Text on a shopping bag showing yachts on a blue sea: "SWITZERLAND: SEASIDE CITY".
Yugoslavia: a sign in a hotel read The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. Turn to her straightaway.
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.
At a Santa Fe gas station: We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.
Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
Finnish washroom faucet: To stop the drip, turn cock to right
In a Bed & Breakfast in France: The genuine antics in your room come from our family castle. Long life to it.
In a health food shop window: Closed due to illness.
In a Maine restaurant: Open seven days a week and weekends.
In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
In front of a New Hampshire car wash: If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car.
Italian/ Italy: In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
On a butcher's window: Let me meat your needs.
On a roller coaster: Watch your head.
On the door of a Music Library: Bach in a min-u-et.
Outside a Hotel: Help! We need inn-experienced people.
Roman doctor's office: Specialist in women and other diseases.
Thailand: in a Bangkok dry-cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.
Yugoslavia: in the Europa Hotel, in Sarajevo, Yugoslavia, you will find this message on every door: "Guests should announce the abandonment of theirs rooms before 12 o'clock, emptying the room at the latest until 14 o'clock, for the use of the room before 5 at the arrival or after the 16 o'clock at the departure, will be billed as one night more.".
A laundry in Rome: LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
At a pizza shop: 7 days without pizza makes one weak.
Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
English Sign in German Cafe: Mothers, Please Wash Your Hands Before Eating.
In a Bed & Breakfast in France: Please avoid coca watering, cream cleaning, wet towels wrapping, and ironing drying.
In a Florida maternity ward: No children allowed.
In a Los Angeles dance hall: Good clean dancing every night but Sunday.
In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.
In downtown Boston: Callahan Tunnel - NO END
Istanbul hotel corridor sign: Please to evacuate in hall especially which is accompanied by rude noises.
Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
On a restaurant: Try our fish just for the halibut.
On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
Outside a Hong Kong tailor's shop: "Ladies may have a fit upstairs".
Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
Thailand: an ad for donkey rides asked Would you like to ride on your own ass?.
Yugoslavia: in the Europa Hotel, in Sarajevo, you will find this message on every door: Guests should announce the abandonment of theirs rooms before 12 o'clock, emptying the room at the latest until 14 o'clock, for the use of the room before 5 at the arrival or after the 16 o'clock at the departure, will be billed as one night more..
A warning to motorists in Tokyo: "When a passenger of the foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet at him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigor.".
At a Towing Company: We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.
Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
German/ Austria: a sign in a hotel catering to skiers read Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.
In a New York medical building: Mental Health Prevention Center
In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream.
In Aamchi Mumbai restaurant: OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.
In the front yard of a funeral home: Drive carefully. We’ll wait.
Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
On a desk in a reception room: We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.
On a taxidermist's window: We really know our stuff.
On the grounds of a Nairobi private school: NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.
Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
The best! In a Tokyo bar: SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
At A Laundry Shop: How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?
Athens, Greece hotel: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways.
Hotel, Japan: YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
In a department store: Bargain Basement Upstairs.
In a Laundromat: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
In a Podiatrist's window: Time wounds all heels.
In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
In an office: After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.
Message on a leaflet: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.
On a New York convalescent home: For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church
On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: "Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life".
Outside a disco: Smarts is the most exclusive disco in town. Everyone welcome.
Plumber: We repair what your husband Fixed.
Taiwan: the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead"
Vienna, Austria hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.
Advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
At an Auto Body Shop: May we have the next dents?
At the electric company: We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be.
Car Lot: The best way to get on your feet....Miss a car payment.
Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
German/ Germany: in a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
Gym: Merry Fitness and a Happy New Rear!
In a cleaner’s window: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
In a counselors office: Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional.
In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
In a Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.
In a non-smoking area: If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a Texas funeral parlor: Ask about our layaway plan.
In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
In the offices of a New Jersey loan company: Ask about our plans for owning your home.
London department store: Bargain basement upstairs.
Majorcan shop entrance: English well talking.
On a fence: Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.
On a Maine shop: Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship.
On an electrician's truck: Let us remove your shorts.
On an United Airlines emergency exit row instruction card: If you cannot read this card...
On the menu of a New Orleans restaurant: Blackened bluefish
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
Outside a radiator repair shop: Best place in town to take a leak.
Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.
Russian/ Russia: in the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
Sweden: in the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.
Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you’ll find they are best in the long run.
At a Music Store: Out to lunch. Bach at 12:30. Offenbach sooner.
Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
Doctor's office in Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Hotel, Zurich: BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
In a dry cleaner's emporium: Drop your pants here.
In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
In a restaurant window: Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.
In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.
In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday kindly bring it back or further steps will be taken.
In the window of an Oregon general store: Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?
Moscow hotel lobby across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
On a plumber's truck: We repair what your husband fixed.
On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.
Outside a farm: Horse manure, pre-packed bags, $10. Or, do-it-yourself, $1.
Portuguese/ Brazil: Ford had a problem in Brazil when the Pinto flopped. The company found out that Pinto was Brazilian slang for "tiny male genitals".
Text on a shopping bag picturing dancing elephants: "ELEPHANT FAMILY ARE HAPPY WITH US. THEIR HUMMING MAKES US FEEL HAPPY."
Yugoslavia: a sign in a hotel read "The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. Turn to her straightaway.".
At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
At the entrance of the large machinery plant: Warning to young ladies: If you wear loose clothes, beware of the machinery. If you wear tight clothes, beware of the machinist.
Copenhagen airline ticket office: WE take your bags and send them in all directions.
Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service.
In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.
In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
In the vestry of a New England church: Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished.
Majorcan shop entrance: Here speeching American.
On a maternity room door: Push. Push. Push.
On another Butcher's window: Pleased to meat you.
On the wall of a Baltimore estate: Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. - Sisters of Mercy
Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
Switzerland: in a Swiss menu: "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for".
Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia: TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.
Acapulco hotel sign: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
At a Used Car Lot: Second Hand cars in first crash condition.
Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
German/ Austria: on a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.
In a cafeteria: Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.
In a hotel during a conference: For anyone who has children and doesn’t know it, there is day care on the first floor.
In a New York restaurant: Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.
In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: 15 men's wool suits - $100 - They won't last an hour!
In an Acapulco hotel a sign read "The manager has personally passed all the water served here".
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.
Japanese information booklet about a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of war in your room, please control yourself.
On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: Now available in multi-packs.
On a Tennessee highway: Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable.
On the grounds of a private school in Connecticut: No trespassing without permission.
Outside a photographer’s studio: Out to lunch; if not back by five, out for dinner.
Russian/ Russia: a translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.
The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.
A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O'Hare Field in Chicago: Do not activate with wet hands.
At a tire shop in Milwaukee: Invite us to your next blowout.
Billboard on the side of the road: Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs.
From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
In a Hong Kong supermarket: "For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service".
In a Nairobi restaurant: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
In a safari park: Elephants please stay in your car
In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
In Italy, a campaign for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the name into Schweppes Toilet Water.
Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.
On a church door: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance)
On a Scientist's door: Gone Fission
On the faucet in a Finnish washroom: To stop the drip, turn cock to right.
Outside a muffler shop: No appointment necessary. We heard you coming.
Romania: in a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
Thailand: in a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

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